Into the Fire

As I was leading up to my days of my left PAO (periactabular osteotomy), I had this vision of myself and other “hippies” on the PAO Facebook Support group walking into a burning building and coming out o.k., on the “other side.” Its hard to explain, but in a sense its something that I knew I had to do,  that it would be extremely difficult and dare I say a painful experience, but I would come out o.k.  Walking into that burning building (PAO surgery) was a way to reclaim a sense of myself, to rescue something deep within me. “Rescue what?” you may ask.  At this point of being 2-weeks post op, I am still not entirely sure of that answer, but I am sure I will find out as this journey continues.

Today a fellow hippie had her PAO surgery in St. Louis. She is another FB PAO hippie friend, a Physical Therapist in Texas about the same age as me. We have a lot in common, including that we prepped well pre-PAO.  I was helping to calm her nerves via messaging  and sending her Pusheenicorn healing vibes.

“See you on the other side,” I typed. Its something us hippies say when we are in the final moments of facing our PAO.  I thought about how while we are not technically dying and we are in the afterlife, but rather a good metaphor for the death of our old selves and a rebirth begins.

My PAO buddy Jessica and I were messaging around the same time this morning, and she brought up the burning building metaphor (I told her about this a few weeks ago). She described how the burning building (PAO surgery) was burning parts of her old self that no longer serve her and she comes out of the building a different person.  She described what I was unable to put into words.   Signs abound, we talked about astrology.  As one source described:

“This is a time of great and crucial transformation, as the contradictions in our society become even more clearly recognized, dramatically showcasing the urgent need for meaningful change to take place. This very same process is echoed in our individual lives as well, since each one of us represents a microcosm for the whole.”

In closing of my musings, I thought of an oldie but goodie favorite song, “Into the Fire” by Sarah Maclachlan.  The words further express my sentiments:

5 thoughts on “Into the Fire

  1. I read this earlier and wanted to come back to leave a comment because I enjoyed it so much 🙂 I think fire is a powerful metaphor. Although the way I often think of it is like a fire burning within you, so this was an interesting perspective because I hadn’t thought of it like that. I know the person I was died 5 years ago. And the person I am now is a different person, better in many ways, but sometimes I miss the old me. Usually when I go back and look at old pictures. But the new me is a better person. A more understanding, empathetic, less judgmental, and stronger person. I think as the months past you’ll find what you rescued from the fire. People only take their most valuable things when escaping from imminent harm. That’s what I did. I rescued the important parts of myself and it just feels like in the past year I’m finding out what I saved from the blaze.

    Laura did great post-op, so it must have been the Pusheenicorn vibes X3 I’m going to bring some plushies with me to surgery, one of them a MLP unicorn my husband bought for me a while back. I need a Pusheen to add to my collection XD

    1. Hi Jessica, Thank you for your comment. I like how you said “people only take their most valuable things when escaping from imminent harm.” I think how we let go parts of ourself that may be harming us in terms of emotional and spiritual growth. Food for thought for sure! On a lighter note, I know they have a full Pusheen shopping website, stuffed animals and all! Best of luck to you!

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