A year ago on this Tuesday, I was had my left PAO surgery and labrum repair, though my actual 1 year anniversary is tomorrow, April 8. A few months later, I wrote this poem. I never shared it with anyone until now. I am pleased to say I am pain-free and moving on with my life like I have never done before:
Reset
Burning medicine from the epidural
Weakness, nausea, confusion
Alarms sounding
Am I dying?
Suddenly I feel better
But cannot hold
On to consciousness.
Guided to my back
Arms stretched out to my side
Strapped down;
A crucifixion?
Please,
Crucify my old self
Put me out of my misery.
BLACKNESS.
I awake
A man speaking tender words:
“Your operation went well.”
“You will be comfortable.”
I feel different.
Bone sawing business
Deep in my core,
My Pelvis.
Sawing out toxicity
From generations past.
Toxicity
That hooked itself
Deep in my core.
I lost my sense of being
My self-worth
My self-love
For many years.
My only choice was this surgery.
Chakra reset
Cutting cords
DNA unraveled and realigned
Release what does not serve
My highest good.
Bone sawing business
Deep in my core,
My Pelvis.
The reset button has been pressed.
I have come home to myself.
That’s just effin’ awesome. You are so creative!
Glad to hear things are progressing – it’s “fun” (is that the word I want?) watching your progress B-ski
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Thanks Bobski. Its comments like yours that keeps me going with the writing 😉
This is a very powerful, emotional piece. Having gone through it myself, twice as you have now, I recall these emotions. “Please, Crucify my old self..” Thank you so much for sharing this piece of yourself.
Thanks Jessica for supporting me to put it out there. 🙂
Beautiful. Perhaps this can be made into an official PAO poam?