Ever since I got the news that my bones were fully healed, I have been busy living ! And here I am: summer over, tomorrow is October and my mental gears are starting to shift. This blog title came to me a few weeks ago, but up until tonight, I have been too busy to write. So here it goes, a summary of the good, the bad and the ugly:
I am healed. I am healthy. I am pain free in my operated hip. Two weeks ago, I started running again. I can’t think of a better way to enjoy the fall mornings in Colorado. I was going to wait to start running until after my second surgery, but one Monday morning I woke up and thought, “today I am going to try running.” And guess what? Running feels BETTER than doing the elliptical (which I have decided the elliptical over-strides me and makes me sore). For the past 2 weeks, I have ran 2-3 times a week for 2 miles. I am slow as molasses, but I really don’t care. I am running, and it doesn’t hurt.
A second surgery is never fun to look forward to, even if it means eventually being 100% pain free. Anyone who has had multiple surgeries understands this. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Now I know the gritty details of reliving five days in the hospital, the nausea coming out of anesthesia, getting out of bed for the first time after having my pelvis sawed apart and screwed back together, the weeks sleeping flat on my back, using a walker for 8 weeks, crutches for 12 weeks, and not driving for at least 2 months (this next surgery is my right side). And the months of rehab. Four months to be exact. But, I am doing it because I can only imagine what it will feel like to have not one, but TWO fixed hips! Really “the bad” is just having 8.5 weeks before the second surgery. How I am going to fit in everything I have to do with work and my life is beyond me at this point. I am working 7 days a week for an average of 12 hours a day. I am pushing hard, like I am known to do, but somehow its fine. Even “the Bad” is fine.
Healthcare (insurance) in America is ugly. Nasty ass ugly. On September 8 or 9, I read on the PAO Facebook support group that Stanford Hospital and Clinics is no longer contracted with Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield. “WHAT?!?!?” I thought. “I have to go through this b.s. again?” (see former post about UCSF and Anthem). Stanford said that they are in negotiations with their contract with Anthem and they are still honoring Anthem members as “in network” while these negotiations are under way. Stanford even has a dedicated phone line and website focusing on this issue. Sometimes I hop on the website just to help reassure me that my right PAO and labrum repair will happen on December 16, and that Anthem will pay for it. The 1st PAO taught me to trust in the process. No matter how ugly healthcare is in America, I have to trust that Stanford and Anthem will have a contract. Its like the players and the NFL: they need each other.
Relish in the good, tackle the bad and release control over the ugly. That is my plan.